Thank You for Your Support.

So as I shared in my first blog post, I had no support at home on this journey, and when I say no support, I mean zero. Other than Dr. Patel and Jane, I was doing this on my own as I worked full time (with a bunch of ‘eaters’, but that’s a story for another day), took care of my kiddos when I wasn’t at work, and honestly – this will be the first time I’ve actually told this story – even while I was working, as I oversaw the household. All while I was trying to reduce my stress so I didn’t stress eat, which I was often a victim of. Fun! Not.

I’ll start with my lack of support at home, since that hurt the most, and will be easiest to explain. My ex-husband and I decided when I went back to work, that we’d work opposite shifts, so that the kids didn’t need to go to daycare. That was the idea. And not one that worked out well for me. Imagine this: you go back to work after two years and are excited because you get to work in social services again, overseeing group homes where adults with disabilities reside. Your favorite population ever! Now imagine, you start and love your job, are creating professional ties with your staff and the families, and bonds with your residents…just to learn that your husband isn’t bathing or feeding your kids while you’re working second shift. What? Okay, let me be more specific – they were eating. But it was not a meal, and most of the time they were going to bed without a soothing and cleansing bath beforehand. Why, you may ask? There was a parent at home, to provide this nourishment – but his plans to play video games and apparently just relax, were more important. He was tired after a long day at work. Yawn.

 Just so this doesn’t turn into a bash session of someone I’ve been fortunate enough to be divorced from for over 15 years now, we’ll refocus. I worked second shift, including weekends of course, and ended up coming home to feed and bathe my children, then put them to bed (on the clock, in case that wasn’t clear). Then, I’d go back to work, for several hours, and do what I was getting paid for the whole time. Ooops sorry employer during that chapter of my life – I was pulled in many directions, and you already know that all of us managers were fluffing our time in one way or another. My bad.

 So yes, no support at home. Not with the raising of the kids (I was a married ‘single mother’, which is again, a story for another time – and one many women can relate to, I’m sure), and especially not with my new eating goals. The stress at home made it so hard to focus on eating less and with more quality ingredients. I wanted to eat for comfort every. single. night. But I didn’t. I knew the outcome was going to be worth the torture of these first few weeks of making 1,200 calories my life. Just for the first 30lbs or so, so at that point, I was probably 10 down, 20 to go. Fantastic.